And so it begins...

Tuesday 01 July 2008. 7.00am

Wow! This place is incredibly beautiful. About seven of us met up at the guesthouse on Sunday afternoon and were picked up by mini-truck. We were then taken, with all our baggage, to the Nugent Waterside Centre. It is about a half hour drive from downtown Chiang Mai. As we left the city I wondered what we had let ourselves in for. When we arrived I could see immediately that we had nothing to worry about. The whole place is on roughly two acres of land and is tended by a team of gardeners who work at trimming and landscaping every day. Because we have now started the course and it is very time consuming I really don’t have the time at present to write a long description of the centre. Basically it is a very calming and studious place. Everything is planned to be open air and full of light. We eat all of our meals outdoors. We can’t wear and shoes in the resource room, the training rooms or our bedrooms. So basically most of us walk around barefoot. The bedrooms are fit for a king. They are very large with a double bed, a writing desk and ensuite bathroom with large walk-in shower. I hope to get a picture or two of the place posted on this blog.

Classes start at noon everyday and finish at eight every evening.

There are three meals served every day. Breakfast is served from 8.30am to 9.30am and consists of fresh fruit, bananas, melons and the like. There is also fried eggs and toast. There are other foods served for breakfast on other days, waffles and pancakes for example. I couldn’t believe how different the bananas tasted compared to ones I would eat at home. I had two of them along with my melon and fried egg and toast and jam on toast. The next meal is at 1.30pm and consists of some sort of vegetarian meal. Dinner is at 8.30pm and is usually a curry or something on those lines. Basically I don’t know what I am eating but most of it is good and the bit I’m not sure about I leave to one side. I can’t believe I actually ate cucumbers yesterday! When you squeeze half a fresh lime over them they are actually quite tasty. I haven't eaten any meat for four days now.

Including myself there are 12 students in total. I’m the only one from Ireland. There is one from New Zealand, one from Taiwan, one Canadian, one South African, four from the States and three from the UK. The ages range from twenty three to roughly about fifty five. So there is a good spread, so to speak. There are five blokes and seven girls.

We have two trainers, Ellen and Lauren. Ellen I believe is originally from the States and Lauren is from Australia. They are both well travelled.

For teaching practise we have been separated into two camps. Yesterday morning we were giving a class in Vietnamese to give us an idea of how it must feel for foreigners starting to learn English. Yesterday evening we sat at the back of the classroom as Ellen gave a class to local Thai people that attend every evening. For the last half hour of the class we had to meant and talk with the students. This gave them a chance to practise their English while it gave us a chance to meet the people that we would be practising our teaching skills on.

This evening I have to give my first lesson to the Thai people we met last night. I have to work on a text based lesson with them for 40 minutes. I still haven’t finished my lesson plan yet and it must be done and presented to my trainer before I give the class. So I gotta go now. Will be back soon.

Thank you for the positive comments and encouragement I have received in relation to this blog.

Me love you long time

It is Sunday morning just after breakfast as I write. I am feeling pretty good considering the amount of alcohol consumed yesterday. Aaoron is from Arizona, America. He is doing the course too and had just arrived. I showed him around the parts of Chiang Mai I had discovered. We had our first beer around noon and basically saw no reason why we shouldn't continue drinking. It lashed rain around 3.00pm and the locals looked on as one Paddy and one Yank stood out in the rain, faces upturned getting soaked to the skin. Very refreshing indeed. When it stopped raining our clothes dried in a matter of minutes.

After many, many, many beers were consumed we chanced upon a karaoke bar. There were many, many, many beautiful Thai women standing outside giggling and smiling at us. Anyhoo Aaoron and I ended up sitting inside the bar as all the girls were lined up in front of us and we had to pick one each to be our companions as we tried to decide which songs to sing. It was all in good fun and we had a bit of a laugh. After about two hours of boozing and talking to these giggling beautiful creatures I decided that maybe it was time to go home.

When the bill was presented to us it was a bit more than expected. In fact we hadn't got enough cash on us. I wrote ATM on the bill and handed it back. They asked me for my credit card and I said that I didn't have one. So next thing I know I am riding pillion on a motorbike as one of the girls weaves with consummate ease through the traffic of Chiang Mai. I get the cash and we go back to the bar. After making the payment the girl whom I was sitting with asks if I would like her come home with me. A very kind offer indeed but just like the reporters in the News of the World I made my excuses and left. Some of the girls stood with us at the side of road as we tried to hail a tuk-tuk. One of them kept putting her hand on my beer belly and saying 'You have baby, you have baby.' What a cheeky mare!

The hostel was closed when we got back and we had to keep banging on the door until someone let us in. So that was a good night really.

Today we are all meeting at this hostel at 1.00pm to be picked up and taken to where we are doing the teaching course. So it's time to hit the books and may God have mercy on us all!

Drugs and laptop leads

Obviously I have heard of jetlag many times over the years but this is my first experience of it. I got up early yesterday morning, had breakfast and posted the previous blog that you have read. I was ready for a full and eventful day. I had finished posting the blog about 10.30am and went back to my room to prepare for my expedition through the streets of Chiang Mai.

I either passed out or fell through a worm-hole because suddenly I was lying on the bed and it was 3.00pm. I jumped out of the bed in much the same way a slush puppy exits an up ended cup. Lots of water and a cigarette later I felt incredibly not much better. It is so strange when the brain is more awake than the body. My brain told me to get my act together and get to the shops to find a lead for the laptop and get enough anti-malarial tablets to cover the four weeks in the hills where I will be doing the training course. My body said nothing; it just smiled at me in a fuzzy sort of way.

Taking the hint I decided to chill for a while. I sat out in the corridor with a bottle of water and an English grammar book (swot!). It is a funky, 'windswept and groovy' sort of corridor with tiny lizards running up and down the walls. My room is at one end of the corridor with an open window looking out onto the back gardens of the adjacent shops. Beside a bench there is a bookshelf holding, funnily enough, books. Some are in English, some in French, others in German. There is a large painting depicting one of Chiang Mai's numerous Wats (monasteries). There are two large potted plants and a mirror. The centre piece of this ensemble is an old barber or dentist chair. The kind you would expect the barber of Seville or Sweeney Todd to use.

My brain and I sat on the bench waiting for my body to catch up with us when two girls appeared from the room next to mine. We nodded hello to each other and after some small chat discovered that we were all going to do the same course. They had arrived from Korea the previous evening and were going out sight-seeing. I said I would see them later.

One cold shower and a change of clothes later I set off to find drugs and laptop leads. Being my second day I was more attuned to what was going on around me as I walked along by the moat that surrounds the inner part of the city. The traffic is relentless and you take your life in your hands anytime you cross the street. Pedestrian crossings are few and far between. When I actually used one it made no difference to the drivers. Although the green man was showing I crossed the road in much the same way as that old video game 'Frogger'. The traffic simply did not stop.

The traffic deserves a paragraph to itself. There are mini trucks, cars, bicycles, motorbikes, scooters and tuk-tuks. The guys in the tuk-tuks continually shout 'Hello' or 'Tuk-tuk' to you as they pass. On the road, size is everything. I'm sure there are official rules of the road but basically if your vehicle is larger than the one next to you then you have the right of way. I have seen three, sometimes four, people on the one motorbike. I have seen mothers and fathers on a scooter with a three year old toddler on the driver's lap. No one is wearing a helmet as the child is holding onto the handlebars. I have seen small dogs draped over the feet of people driving scooters; the dog's front paws literally an inch or two from the road. Throughout all this madness nobody looks stressed; everyone is quite relaxed and laid back. So basically when crossing the road, if you realise that the traffic is a living entity, you should come to no harm as you pass through its flowing body.

Okay, that's the traffic but pedestrians ain't out to look at traffic. The sorties I have made so far are basically following the route of the moat, which I have already stated surrounds the centre of the city. Next to places advertising Thai massage you will find 7-Eleven stores, next to bars you will encounter computer superstores, music shops, medical centres and dental surgeries. Chiang Mai is positively peppered with monasteries. I haven't visited any of them yet as I am waiting until I stop sweating profusely every time I move. I don't want to be responsible for someone slipping on my sweat. From the outside they are beautifully ornate and the golden decoration on the walls is incredibly intricate. Walking along by the moat you will encounter small shrines, incense burns as small birds pick at the food that has been left as an offering to the Lord Buddha.

Thais don't seem to be bothered with eating at home as every single one of them appears to eat at the side of the road. From the afternoon onwards various vendors set up their stalls and cook rice or noodle based dishes. As darkness descends and the heat is slightly less oppressive my senses are pleasantly aroused by the aromas of cooking, the sounds of the mysterious impenetrable Thai language and the sights of so many different foods, most of which are totally unfamiliar to me.

I did a full circuit of the moat today and I manage to pick up a lead for the laptop. Pleased with my success I stopped off at a beer garden and ordered a large bottle of Heineken. A 63cl bottle of Heineken cost 2.50 euro. Bar owners of Ireland, sort yourselves out! Every time my glass ran low the barman came over and filled it again from my bottle. Bar owners of Ireland, sort yourselves out! The pub I was in was geared towards foreigners like myself. Looking at the signs I learned that Spain was to meet Germany in the European finals. The signs said I could come to the bar and watch the match live at 2.00am. Another sign said ''Come and join 4 ladies. Get 1 scotch whisky free. Drink - Dance - Drunk. 23.00 till dawn''. As I watched wasps the size of small humming birds fly about the beer garden I was handed a menu. I smiled as I read it. For just 80 baht you could get deep fried 'sqrung roll'.

After two bottles of beer I felt like I had drank eight pints. Playing it safe I decided to retire and see if my new power lead for the laptop worked (it does). It was dark now as I returned to the hostel. The bars were only starting to come alive now. Beautiful and scantily clad Thai women beckoned me into each bar I passed. I kept walking. Passing another Wat I saw a monk in his ochre robes sweeping the ground for no apparent reason. 'Strange', I thought, 'Whores and monks side by side. Both engaged with the genetic impulse to pro-create. One abusing it, the other trying to overcome it'.

Well I had been drinking.

Arrival

Perkins' fever grows ever worse and I fear we shall have to kill him soon in order that the rest of us may eat... Now that's a blog!

Anyhoo, I have arrived safely. It is 9.10am Friday local time as I write. I have just finished my complimentary breakfast of toast, eggs and coffee. It took 24 hours to travel from door to door so to speak. Reminded me of travelling to work from Cavan every morning.

I was sweating like a running tap yesterday, the heat is something else but I am loving it at the same time. It should take a few days to adjust to the heat and get over the jet lag. My mobile phone won't work so I managed to pick up a second hand one for 1300 baht (26 euro) including sim card. I only had to go back to the guy three times in order to get it working correctly. Sweat was literally dripping off me onto the counter as we tried to communicate to each other how international and local dial codes work. He kept smiling and saying to me, 'You are very hot'. I hope he was referring to my fecund perspiration rather than my natural Irish good looks.

I only realised last night when I went to charge my laptop that I left half of the lead at home!!!! I am going to attempt to buy a lead today if possible. There is lots to see but I am taking it easy and just concentrating on getting my body adjusted to heat and time difference etc. More time can be spent on sightseeing etc after the course and hopefully by then I will have some companions with whom I can travel.

Willoughby says that the locals believe Perkins to be possessed by an evil spirit. I pray to God Almighty that He will take Perkins from us soon and lighten our load.....

Until my next communication, may the angels protect you dear Mina.

The final countdown

It is Monday afternoon, my penultimate day before heading east. I tried making a few changes on my original blog site but it appears that I have set up a totally new one instead. Such is life.

I am constantly being asked if I am excited about my forthcoming trip but to be honest it doesn't feel real yet. I suppose it won't feel real until the plane actually takes off from Dublin.

Anyhoo I better go and make an attempt at packing.