Hi folks, just read over my last blog and realised I didn't post the picture of the monk. I also mixed up the words seize and cease, d'oh!
If anyone is interested most of my photos can be viewed at the following address...
Cheers.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Drowned by a monk
28 July 2008 5.20pm
Yesterday I went to visit Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep. It is a big temple at the very top of a hill, just outside Chiang Mai. It is in the Doi Suthep National Park. According to legend, holy relics discovered during the reign of King Kuena (1355 -1385) were placed on the back of a white elephant. This elephant was set free to wander and to bring the relics to the correct place. The elephant carried them to Wat Phrathat and promptly dropped dead from fatigue. The relics are still there to this day housed in the chedi . This chedi is regarded as one of the holiest in Thailand.
I took a sawngthaew (red van) from the moat up to the temple. The driver agreed to bring me there and wait until I was ready for him to bring me back down. The road is very steep and winding, at times the sawngthaew seemed to struggle. I sat in the back of the van willing the driver to change to a lower gear. When we eventually got there I was met with hordes of hawkers, people selling pictures, trinkets, hill tribe art; all the usual paraphernalia. Undaunted, I looked up the 306 steps before me. At the top of these steps was the entrance to the temple. There was some form of elevator over to the right that I could use but I chose to offer it up for my sins and walk. The ticket office at the top stated that entrance to the temple would cost Thai’s nothing and foreigners 30 baht. After getting my breath back I paid the 30 baht and entered the monastery.
The first thing I wanted to do was get some perspective, I wanted to see how high I was. There was a great view of the city of Chiang Mai below. The cool breeze was also very welcome, I might add. Below me forests stretched out for about ten miles and then the city. To the right I could see Chiang Mai Airport. It is a very small airport. At that time I could see there was only one airplane in the whole airport and as I looked it sped down the runway and took off into the dark clouds that were accumulating and threatening another tropical deluge. Turning my attention to my immediate surroundings I saw Thai women in traditional dress performing some sort of traditional dance with accompanying music being played by a band of girls on weird looking instruments. Lots of tourists stood around watching this and clapped when the dance was finished. The ladies bowed gracefully and then gracefully pointed at the donations bowl. Moving around the cloisters I beheld souvenir stalls, a coffee shop, a place to sit and watch Thai boxing on a large TV and dotted about the place the ubiquitous donation boxes. Not the Buddhist vibe I was hoping for really.
In the centre of all this madness was the chedi. Removing my footwear I climbed the few steps up to where the relics of Buddha are housed. Devout Thais walked around the chedi in a clockwise direction holding flowers and burning incense sticks. At times they would stop and kneel before statues of Buddha and intone prayers. One room to the side caught my attention and I went to have a look. Inside sat a monk, he was a young man and he invited me in to sit before the shrine. He sat to the side weaving string. I sat there for a while saying nothing. He continued to sit there weaving string and saying nothing. After a while we said nothing together. A couple poked their heads in the door and the monk invited them in too. Soon, another couple came in. The monk asked all of us to sit on the floor in front of him so that he may bless us. With our heads bowed in reverence the monk held a bunch of twigs over us and started to chant. He then dipped the twigs in a bowl of water and proceeded to drown us in much the same way a priest flings holy water at you in a church. I got a full facial, as it were, I think we all did. I didn’t know whether to laugh or get annoyed as it was unexpected and there was quite a lot of water flying about. I chose to stay quiet and look solemn. The monk then proceeded to tie a piece of string around our wrists. When he was tying the string around my wrist he asked me where I was from. I told him and he said that I would be lucky. He then pointed towards a donation box. I gave 20 baht for the impromptu shower. Afterwards I sat back in my original place before the shrine and took a photo of him. It should be posted here on the blog, apologies if it doesn’t look great but the light was sort of weird in the room.
After wandering around some more I decided I had seen enough and my shirt had pretty much dried out now. I descended the steps and my taxi driver called out to me and ran to his red truck. Back in Chiang Mai I treated myself to a juicy steak in Sizzlers.
I know that one or two of you are wondering if I actually hang around temples all the time or now that at I am alone and anonymous in this country am I making the most of the Thai nightlife and hospitality. The truth is I have frequented bars and been accosted by the most beautiful creatures on earth but I find it incredibly disconcerting. At least when Aaron was here we could look out for each other to a certain extent. Last night I went into a bar and as I walked from the door to the bar three girls followed me and stood around me as I ordered a drink. I sat on the stool and politely ignored them. The bar girl produced my drink, asked me my name, told me her name and shook my hand. She asked me where I was from. When I said Ireland she smiled and said, ‘I from Island too’. I smiled back and then my conversation dried up. It is just so weird for me, I feel that the whole setup is very false, which it is, I don’t feel threatened, because it isn’t threatening, but the whole thing is just so shallow. To have a smoke one needs to step outside. I took my bottle of Singha with me to a free table outside. Just as I sat down three girls appeared and sat down around the table with me. To be honest it was pissing me off a bit. I continued to politely watch the TV and ignore them. One by one they slowly moved away from the table. After a few minutes another three gorgeous creatures sat down at the table with me. This time they had drinks with them. One of them raised her glass to me and we toasted each other. Then the conversation dried up again. I have an incredible talent for not speaking. The girls talked quietly to each other as I stared at the TV. Periodically men walked by the bar and the girls would get animated and greet the passers-by. Ceasing my chance I got up while they were distracted and walked back to the bar to get another beer. The girl at the bar shouted across to another girl to get ‘Corin’ another beer. Half way through my third beer another Thai girl sat beside me. Her name was Joy and we talked for a while about nothing really. How long had I been in Thailand, how long was I staying, the usual. We talked about the Thai visa for some reason and she suggested that if I wanted to stay in Thailand that I should get married to a Thai women. I left the bar pretty soon after that. I know some of my friends reading this are thinking I’m crazy, a crazy fool who is turning down what is being offered to me on a plate. It just doesn’t seem to sit easy with me, this whole sex trade thing. These beautiful women are not talking to me because they would like to get to know me; they are working and would like to get to know my wallet.
Of course beautiful women wanting to have sex with me is not my only problem when going for a drink. One night Aaron and I stopped at an open air bar that advertised three Chang beers for 100 baht. That’s three strong beers for two euro. Great deal but we ended giving away another 100 baht or so to kids selling flowers, men with limbs missing would stand in front of us with a begging bowl, the lady boys that put on a show would come around collecting donations afterwards. I have seen that poor elephant I saw before being lead around the bars on numerous occasions. One person who sticks in my mind though is a deaf girl that walks around trying to sell trinkets. The first time I met her she was selling Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck keyrings. She carries a placard stating she is deaf and would I like to buy something please. I guess she is around 13 or 14 years of age and it just feels so wrong to have her walking the streets selling crap in order to make a living. The second time I met her was about a week later at another bar. This time she was selling some glow in the dark neon tube yokes you wear around your wrist. Using the little bit of sign language I have I was delighted to find that she understood me. Her name is Waew. That’s all I know. I didn’t ask her age or anything like that because I don’t want to come across as some sort of perv.
To sum up I have mixed feelings about Chiang Mai. The people are truly beautiful, not just physically, they have a grace about them, and they are genuinely friendly with very warm smiles. They are well mannered and polite. On the other hand a lot of them are quite poor and are reduced to begging on the streets or selling themselves to sweating, smelly, corpulent farang.
My visa runs out in just over three weeks time so maybe I should start thinking about getting out of Chiang Mai. I could go to the beaches I suppose or see the craziness that is Bangkok. Watch this space.
I took a sawngthaew (red van) from the moat up to the temple. The driver agreed to bring me there and wait until I was ready for him to bring me back down. The road is very steep and winding, at times the sawngthaew seemed to struggle. I sat in the back of the van willing the driver to change to a lower gear. When we eventually got there I was met with hordes of hawkers, people selling pictures, trinkets, hill tribe art; all the usual paraphernalia. Undaunted, I looked up the 306 steps before me. At the top of these steps was the entrance to the temple. There was some form of elevator over to the right that I could use but I chose to offer it up for my sins and walk. The ticket office at the top stated that entrance to the temple would cost Thai’s nothing and foreigners 30 baht. After getting my breath back I paid the 30 baht and entered the monastery.
The first thing I wanted to do was get some perspective, I wanted to see how high I was. There was a great view of the city of Chiang Mai below. The cool breeze was also very welcome, I might add. Below me forests stretched out for about ten miles and then the city. To the right I could see Chiang Mai Airport. It is a very small airport. At that time I could see there was only one airplane in the whole airport and as I looked it sped down the runway and took off into the dark clouds that were accumulating and threatening another tropical deluge. Turning my attention to my immediate surroundings I saw Thai women in traditional dress performing some sort of traditional dance with accompanying music being played by a band of girls on weird looking instruments. Lots of tourists stood around watching this and clapped when the dance was finished. The ladies bowed gracefully and then gracefully pointed at the donations bowl. Moving around the cloisters I beheld souvenir stalls, a coffee shop, a place to sit and watch Thai boxing on a large TV and dotted about the place the ubiquitous donation boxes. Not the Buddhist vibe I was hoping for really.
In the centre of all this madness was the chedi. Removing my footwear I climbed the few steps up to where the relics of Buddha are housed. Devout Thais walked around the chedi in a clockwise direction holding flowers and burning incense sticks. At times they would stop and kneel before statues of Buddha and intone prayers. One room to the side caught my attention and I went to have a look. Inside sat a monk, he was a young man and he invited me in to sit before the shrine. He sat to the side weaving string. I sat there for a while saying nothing. He continued to sit there weaving string and saying nothing. After a while we said nothing together. A couple poked their heads in the door and the monk invited them in too. Soon, another couple came in. The monk asked all of us to sit on the floor in front of him so that he may bless us. With our heads bowed in reverence the monk held a bunch of twigs over us and started to chant. He then dipped the twigs in a bowl of water and proceeded to drown us in much the same way a priest flings holy water at you in a church. I got a full facial, as it were, I think we all did. I didn’t know whether to laugh or get annoyed as it was unexpected and there was quite a lot of water flying about. I chose to stay quiet and look solemn. The monk then proceeded to tie a piece of string around our wrists. When he was tying the string around my wrist he asked me where I was from. I told him and he said that I would be lucky. He then pointed towards a donation box. I gave 20 baht for the impromptu shower. Afterwards I sat back in my original place before the shrine and took a photo of him. It should be posted here on the blog, apologies if it doesn’t look great but the light was sort of weird in the room.
After wandering around some more I decided I had seen enough and my shirt had pretty much dried out now. I descended the steps and my taxi driver called out to me and ran to his red truck. Back in Chiang Mai I treated myself to a juicy steak in Sizzlers.
I know that one or two of you are wondering if I actually hang around temples all the time or now that at I am alone and anonymous in this country am I making the most of the Thai nightlife and hospitality. The truth is I have frequented bars and been accosted by the most beautiful creatures on earth but I find it incredibly disconcerting. At least when Aaron was here we could look out for each other to a certain extent. Last night I went into a bar and as I walked from the door to the bar three girls followed me and stood around me as I ordered a drink. I sat on the stool and politely ignored them. The bar girl produced my drink, asked me my name, told me her name and shook my hand. She asked me where I was from. When I said Ireland she smiled and said, ‘I from Island too’. I smiled back and then my conversation dried up. It is just so weird for me, I feel that the whole setup is very false, which it is, I don’t feel threatened, because it isn’t threatening, but the whole thing is just so shallow. To have a smoke one needs to step outside. I took my bottle of Singha with me to a free table outside. Just as I sat down three girls appeared and sat down around the table with me. To be honest it was pissing me off a bit. I continued to politely watch the TV and ignore them. One by one they slowly moved away from the table. After a few minutes another three gorgeous creatures sat down at the table with me. This time they had drinks with them. One of them raised her glass to me and we toasted each other. Then the conversation dried up again. I have an incredible talent for not speaking. The girls talked quietly to each other as I stared at the TV. Periodically men walked by the bar and the girls would get animated and greet the passers-by. Ceasing my chance I got up while they were distracted and walked back to the bar to get another beer. The girl at the bar shouted across to another girl to get ‘Corin’ another beer. Half way through my third beer another Thai girl sat beside me. Her name was Joy and we talked for a while about nothing really. How long had I been in Thailand, how long was I staying, the usual. We talked about the Thai visa for some reason and she suggested that if I wanted to stay in Thailand that I should get married to a Thai women. I left the bar pretty soon after that. I know some of my friends reading this are thinking I’m crazy, a crazy fool who is turning down what is being offered to me on a plate. It just doesn’t seem to sit easy with me, this whole sex trade thing. These beautiful women are not talking to me because they would like to get to know me; they are working and would like to get to know my wallet.
Of course beautiful women wanting to have sex with me is not my only problem when going for a drink. One night Aaron and I stopped at an open air bar that advertised three Chang beers for 100 baht. That’s three strong beers for two euro. Great deal but we ended giving away another 100 baht or so to kids selling flowers, men with limbs missing would stand in front of us with a begging bowl, the lady boys that put on a show would come around collecting donations afterwards. I have seen that poor elephant I saw before being lead around the bars on numerous occasions. One person who sticks in my mind though is a deaf girl that walks around trying to sell trinkets. The first time I met her she was selling Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck keyrings. She carries a placard stating she is deaf and would I like to buy something please. I guess she is around 13 or 14 years of age and it just feels so wrong to have her walking the streets selling crap in order to make a living. The second time I met her was about a week later at another bar. This time she was selling some glow in the dark neon tube yokes you wear around your wrist. Using the little bit of sign language I have I was delighted to find that she understood me. Her name is Waew. That’s all I know. I didn’t ask her age or anything like that because I don’t want to come across as some sort of perv.
To sum up I have mixed feelings about Chiang Mai. The people are truly beautiful, not just physically, they have a grace about them, and they are genuinely friendly with very warm smiles. They are well mannered and polite. On the other hand a lot of them are quite poor and are reduced to begging on the streets or selling themselves to sweating, smelly, corpulent farang.
My visa runs out in just over three weeks time so maybe I should start thinking about getting out of Chiang Mai. I could go to the beaches I suppose or see the craziness that is Bangkok. Watch this space.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
For my nieces and nephew
Heather and Aisling had a few questions for me about the grasshoppers. I will answer as best I can. They were small, not too big. They weren't alive, they had been either fried or boiled, I'm not sure which. They were very tasty, they reminded me a bit of Sugar Puffs. Yes, they still had their heads on; and their eyes. I looked at some of their faces before I ate them and it just looked like they were asleep. For the rest of the night little grasshopper legs were stuck in my teeth, even after brushing my teeth lots of times. I had to use a toothpick to get them out.
I have posted a video so hopefully you can see it and get a better idea of how they looked.
Tom is out fishing with his father, I hope you catch a lot of fish Tom.
Alone once again
Saturday 7.45 pm
Well it has been a while since I lasted posted but I was busy and that's a fact. The course is finally over and I have passed it. Provisionally anyway; it has to go to Cambridge and be formally recognised before I receive my certificate. In some ways it was the longest four weeks of my life and in other ways it just flew by in the blink of an eye. We all left the compound at various times today as most people had planes to catch. I was one of the last to leave. Neng left me back to the guest house I originally started at. He helped me take my bags out of his van then gave me a hug and told me that I have a good heart. It was quite touching saying good bye to him as we got on very well together. I still have his phone number and I know I can call him anytime if I need him and he will come straight away. Other than having Neng at the end of a phonecall I am now alone again. It will be strange for a day or so after sharing a place with eleven other people for four weeks. I intend to see some sights before leaving Chiang Mai. I haven't decided where I am going yet. I may go to the south of Thailand, to the beaches, or I may just decide to leave the country from Chiang Mai airport. Perhaps I may go to Cambodia first. I had made enquiries to do volunteer work in Cambodia, working with kids who live and beg on the streets. I was accepted on the project for a four week stint but they wanted me to make a payment of 1100 US dollars first. I think that is a lot of money to pay someone so that they will let me work for free and therefore I have decided against it.
On our final night in the compound we put on a small scavenger hunt for the students. They were given clues and we teachers were placed all around the compound with further clues for them to solve. Each time a clue was solved they were given a word on a piece of paper. There were six words in total and when collected they formed a sentence which said 'Thank you for being our students'. The students really enjoyed the hunt, there was lots of running around and laughing as they looked for the clues. After this the students prepared a meal of local Thai delicacies, such as chicken's feet and grasshoppers. When Neng saw that I wasn't going to try the grasshoppers he made a point of putting a big spoonful of them on my plate and standing in front of me and insisting I try them. Tentatively I put one in my mouth and it was fine, no problem. I ate the rest of them and then helped myself to some more.
Everybody, both teachers and students, was running around taking photos of each other. I must have taken about fifty photos that night. We presented the students with certificates that stated they had studied English with us for four weeks. Each of us presented at least one student with a certificate and photos were taken with each one. Then the students presented each student with a bag, I think they may have been made by one of the hill tribes; I'm not sure. Each male teacher was presented with a bag too and some sort of cloth that you wear around your waste. Mine was presented to me by Neng. It was a really good and happy few hours that night. Afterwards myself and Aaron stayed up drinking beer until about 2 o'clock.
As I said everyone's gone now. I need a few days to get my head together and catch up on some much needed sleep. I will post some more pictures soon of my fellow students.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Under pressure
12.43am Monday 14th July 2008
I'm really up against it at the moment. I am working on my second assignment at the moment; it is due tomorrow. I am expecting my first assignment to be handed back to me tomorrow to be done again. My third assignment is due this Friday and I haven't even looked at it yet. I also have three classes this week and I need to produce lesson plans for them also. Therefore it is next to impossible for me to post any blogs this week. I can't wait for the next two weeks to be over and hopefully by some miracle get a pass grade.I will throw up one or two photos now and a short film clip, hopefully it will work. The pictures are of Neng our invaluable taxi driver with Andrew, one of the students here. Andrew is from Texas. There is a picture of the biggest beetle I have ever seen in my life. He was out for a morning stroll apparently but I think he may have been checking to see if any of the doors to the bedrooms were open. The photo doesn't really do justice to the size of him. The other picture is a snapshot of the busy beavers here in the resource room. The film clip was taken on Moon Meung Road at the Tae Phae gate on the moat. You can see some of the people I'm studying with. The guy sitting down and looking pissed off is Aaron.I had a brief word with the guy who runs this place about the food being served. One of my tutors did too as it was pretty obvious that I would die soon from either starvation, diabetes (too much coca cola) or lung cancer (a carton of cigarettes costs only 12 euro!). I am hoping to be served baked beans, sausages and the like for tomorrow's dinner.
My foot is okay now. The anti-biotics have worked.
Well I gotta go and try to make it through bootcamp.Toodle pip chums. I will try to blog again soon.
My foot is okay now. The anti-biotics have worked.
Well I gotta go and try to make it through bootcamp.Toodle pip chums. I will try to blog again soon.
P.S I tried post the film clip and the computer went apeshit. Oh well....
Monday, July 7, 2008
Batter Burgers and Thai Nurses
08/07/2008 01:02
Okay, where do I start? I suppose I shall relate things in a chronological order. I haven’t posted for a few days because the internet here in the centre was down for a while. The connection is made via satellite and if the rains are too heavy it can affect the line.
I shall begin soon after the ninja episode. On Saturday a gang of us went back into Chiang Mai city centre on shore leave. Aaron and I checked back into the hostel we had first met in as we had no intention of going back to the centre that night; too much drinking to do. Our first mission was my idea. We called to ‘Sizzlers’ and I ordered a rib-eye steak, medium cooked with lots of chips and as much coca cola as the establishment could spare. I have been here for over a week now and I have tried and tried to like the food but it’s no use. I can’t stand the food in Thailand. There I’ve said it. Everyone I know who has been here has said that the food is lovely and that I was in for a treat. Bollocks! I have on more than one occasion had to fight the gag reflex so as to avoid embarrassment for both myself and my fellow students. I imagine it would be embarrassing for all concerned if I heaved a load of glass noodles and mushrooms, and fuck knows what else is in this stuff, all over the table as people are eating. There are only so many lime-soaked cucumbers a man can eat. Some of the food is okay but most of the time it is too spicy, too vegetable based and too not what I’m used to. Seriously folks there have been nights I have gone to bed with a pain in my stomach from hunger. I just can’t take to the food here.
Last night I dreamed I was walking home from a pub in Blackrock. The air was cool and I put my hands in my jacket pockets to keep them warm. I hailed a taxi which swooped down from the sky. As it pulled up beside me I realised it wasn’t a taxi but a large chip. A big fat chip from the chipper. I threw my arms around the end of the chip I perceived to be its head and hugged it. The smell of vinegar made my head swoon as I rubbed my cheek against the salty grains that covered this wonder from the heavens. Jumping on to the back of the chip I yelled, ‘Yeeehaaa’, and we took off into the sky. In my hand was a brand new crisp but empty chip bag. I saw then what I needed to do, as my chip horse and I raced through the sky I collected chips that floated all around me. I also caught two batter sausages and a batter burger. The bag started to get greasy as it filled. I was unable to catch a doner kebab as they just moved too fast. I indicated to Chipper, for that was his name, that I wanted to come back to earth. We landed softly outside my mate Steven’s house. As I dismounted I woke up. True story.
After I gorged on steak and chips, (Aaron had a salad) we went walk about. We called into Wat Phrasingh for a look. It is an amazing temple which actually holds more than one temple. I should have one or two pictures of it posted along with this blog. The guide was very helpful and very chatty with us. Wat Phra Singh means Temple of the Lion Buddha and is the most revered in Chiang Mai. The temple itself is over 600 years old. Upon asking her if westerners could join the Wat for a short period of time she gave me the name of two other Wats that take in foreigners for a few day’s meditation or instruction. We thanked her and walked around the Wat marvelling at the statues and the buildings themselves. A smaller temple at the back housed a reclining Buddha that was moved here from Sri Lanka a few hundred years ago. Also around the back can be found monks who are willing to sit with ‘farang’ and chat. You can ask them questions about life in the wat or Buddhism in general and they get to practise their English. Unfortunately they were speaking with others at the time and so I didn’t get the chance to talk with them.
With the spiritual side taken care of it was time for beer. We met up with the others and took a red van to the Riverside Restaurant which was coincidently located by the river Mae Nam Ping. I ordered noodles with minced beef. What I got was basically a Thai version of spaghetti Bolognese with a fried egg on top. I wasn’t complaining; it was quite edible. After dinner, which worked out at about four euro including beer, we walked over to the night market.
The night market is one long street with stalls placed on either side of the road. Many bargains can be had. There are lots of tee-shirts, watches, bags, pirated DVDs, woodcarvings etc. I found that after every sixth or seventh stall the pattern was repeated. I wasn’t overly impressed but then I wouldn’t be a great shopper normally. I did pick up a zippo lighter though for the princely sum of six euro.
At about 11.00pm Aaron and I decided to head back to the hostel for a quick shower and change of clothes in order to go beering. As we sat at the first bar we were met with the sight of a baby elephant being led across the road towards us. The man leading the poor beast offered to sell us something in a plastic bag. This was food to feed the elephant with. We declined his offer. I really felt bad for this poor animal that was being lead around the streets of Chiang Mai but there was nothing I could do about it.
We moved onto another bar hoping to find some sort of night club because all the bars close at 2.00am and time was running out. We chanced upon a bar that had seven barmaids and one barman. There was barely enough room behind the bar for three staff. The rest of the girls sat at the bar or played pool with the customers. We got talking to a guy from Hastings, England. I would say he was in his late twenties or early thirties. He had no problem finding his way around as he had being living in Thailand for the past year. He was fluent in Thai and could both read and write it too. He was there for the linguistics course he was doing. I asked him why he chose to learn Thai. He replied that he got tired of learning Japanese. Fair enough.
As the shutters were being pulled down over the windows he gave us the name of a bar that stayed open until eight in the morning and directions too. It was within walking distance. We set off down the road seeking this magical place of more beer. A Thai girl stopped us and invited us into the bar she was standing outside of. Once we were told that they weren’t closing we decided to avail of her kind offer. After a few beers and a game or two of pool with ‘Sue’ she told us that there was a night club at the back of the building that was open until eight in the morning. It was free to go in, so in we went. The first person we got talking to was Marina who was obviously a lady boy. He / she seemed to be the Peggy Mitchell or Bet Lynch of the bar although she didn’t serve any drinks. Her job was to mingle and make customers feel welcome. We got a few beers and stood at the bar waiting to see what would happen next.
The music was pumping and was very loud. I hate all that crap. You can’t smoke in the club so I had to go outside through the back door to light up. Outside was basically the staff room for the employees of this establishment. Girls were arriving back on motorbikes and scooters with sheepish looking guys in tow. They led them by the hand into the nightclub so that they could dance and buy the girls drinks. I got talking to Marina who told me that he/she knew he was a woman since he was five years of age. He then proceeded to lift his arms to show me the scars under his armpits from the breast implants and then pulled his top down to show me the scars on the nipples of his large boobs! Nobody batted an eyelid as this was happening. I suppose Marina shows his breasts to a lot of people. I spent most of the night sitting out back watching the comings and goings of the Thais. At one stage someone fried up some chicken in a wok and sold me some for 50 baht (10c). It was delicious. Meanwhile Aaron had been talking to this girl all night at the bar. I popped back in every now and then to use the loo or to buy another beer. I left him to it as they seemed to be getting on quite well. Back outside a gorgeous looking girl got talking to me. Her name was Nui. We joked and laughed and talked shite. I bought her a beer or two. It was almost daylight now. Nui told me that my friend was talking to a lady boy all night and wondered if he realised this. On my next trip to the loo I caught Aaron’s attention and informed him of the news.
Aaron sat outside with me and Nui then, very drunk he was periodically falling asleep and waking up in starts. One time I went to the loo and when I came back Aaron had gone. Nui informed me that he had headed home. We talked some more and then it occurred to me to ask the question you are probably all wondering. The answer was yes Nui was a lady boy too. Nui told me that I could come back to his place for 1000 baht. I wasn’t shocked at all; in fact I felt nothing either way about it. I thanked Nui and said that I had to go home now. It was a strange night; there is more in this world that can be seen in little old Ireland. It is definitely true that travel broadens the mind. I didn’t feel repulsed by Nui when I found out the truth, I didn’t feel angry towards him nor did I feel sorry for him. I just felt that there are a lot of things happening in this world and I can’t do anything about it. I felt some sort of peace with myself in accepting this fact.
It was about 6.30am now and I hailed the first tuk-tuk to come along. He had never heard of the hostel I was staying in and I had no idea where the hostel was in relation to where I was now. So together we took a chance and set off through the streets of Chiang Mai. After about twenty minutes of going around in circles I asked him to stop and got out. I paid him 60 baht (1.20 euro) and lit up a smoke while I waited for another tuk-tuk to come along. Preferably one that knew where I was staying.
Eventually I got back to the hostel. Banging on Aaron’s door I was relieved to hear him moan something at me. Good, he got back safely. I basically collapsed on to my bed and didn’t stir until about noon.
I had arranged with Neng that he pick us up around 2.00pm that Sunday afternoon. I was ready at the door. Aaron was not moving from his bed. He would make his way back to the centre later.
I have to say a few words about Neng. He is a gentle and kind man. He does all the taxi-ing for us students. I would say he is about my age or maybe in his early forties. Neng comes to English classes every night. He is down stairs in the elementary class. His English is not very good yet but he has a very real talent for communication. He is always laughing and smiling but not boisterous with it. Speaking to him I learned that he had been a monk for 7 months, a common practise among Thai men. While he was a monk, as some sort of pilgrimage, he walked to China from Thailand. I asked how far he had walked but he said he didn’t know. I feel that it was modesty that prevented him from telling me how far, but he did tell me it took him nine days. This was related to me as he drove me back to the centre. He kindly stopped off at Tesco so that I could get some supplies, chocolate, peanuts, pot noodles and the like. As I shopped he drove back to see if he could get Aaron out of bed. No joy.
I didn’t feel too good on Sunday night and I had some very weird dreams that I can’t for the life of me relate to you now. Upon waking Monday morning I felt a bit queasy and decided to skip breakfast, the only half normal meal of the day. The mosquito bites on my left ankle were itchier than normal. By lunchtime my legs felt wobbly as I walked down the stairs and my left ankle had swollen up and was a very sickly looking red. Speaking to one of my tutors it was decided that I should go to the hospital immediately.
One phone call later Neng appeared on the scene and drove me straight to the Chiang Mai Ram Hospital. On the way I made gestures to Neng to explain that I felt sick but my ankle was not sore. He seemed to understand. He then produced a small jar that contained something that looked like tiger-balm but was green in colour. He handed it to me and indicated that I should rub it on my leg. After I rubbed some on the now quite swollen ankle he had me rub some on the palm of my hand and inferred that I should inhale the fumes. This did in fact clear my head a bit and some of the sick feeling left me. Neng took the ointment back from me, opened it and while still driving proceeded to chant some prayers over it. His incantations ended with him blowing on the jar and then handing it back to me. ‘For you’, he said. I thanked him in Thai and we drove on.
At the hospital I made the international phone sign and then pointed at my invisible watch to indicate I would call him later. He insisted on staying with me and walked into the hospital with me. He waited with a newspaper as I approached the desk to explain my predicament. I have now decided that I don’t want to die as an old man in some hot and dusty olive grove in Spain or Italy as I have indicated before. I would rather die in a Thai hospital. The nurses are unbelievably and incredibly beautiful in their white uniforms. All the staff are so polite and friendly. I was asked for my passport and whether I had insurance or not. I gave them my passport and indicated that I had insurance but I didn’t have the details on me at that moment. Not a problem they said. They took my weight, (94kgs), my height (184cm) and my blood pressure which was high but not high enough to worry about. I was asked to move to another waiting room and within fifteen minutes I was seen by the doctor, yet another Thai goddess. Looking at my leg she said that I had probably been bitten by a spider or an ant and the wound had become infected. She gave me anti-biotics, cream and anti-histamines and fixed an appointment to see her again a week from now if it didn’t clear up. This whole process from walking in the door to walking back out took an hour. The total cost of admission fee, administration fee, seeing the skin specialist and payment for prescription was forty four euro. Incredible yeh? Not worth the bother of going through the insurance for. That was today and the swelling hasn’t gone down yet but the sickly feeling has gone. I have spent the last two hours writing this and I still haven’t made a start on my first assignment. I don’t care, I much prefer writing this blog to stupid assignments.
Thanks again to everyone for the support you have shown me over the past week. It is much appreciated. Today I gave my third teaching class and I am happy to report that it is getting easier.
Just a quick note to some of you. Steven, buddy, I will reply to your most welcome email as soon as I can. Likewise to you Lisa, it was good to get that particular email from you and I want to spend some time on the reply. Please keep in touch. Francis, thanks for the text message. Maw and Paw, you know I love you and don’t be worrying about Ninjas. To everyone else, friends and family, thanks for reading and keep in touch.
Okay, where do I start? I suppose I shall relate things in a chronological order. I haven’t posted for a few days because the internet here in the centre was down for a while. The connection is made via satellite and if the rains are too heavy it can affect the line.
I shall begin soon after the ninja episode. On Saturday a gang of us went back into Chiang Mai city centre on shore leave. Aaron and I checked back into the hostel we had first met in as we had no intention of going back to the centre that night; too much drinking to do. Our first mission was my idea. We called to ‘Sizzlers’ and I ordered a rib-eye steak, medium cooked with lots of chips and as much coca cola as the establishment could spare. I have been here for over a week now and I have tried and tried to like the food but it’s no use. I can’t stand the food in Thailand. There I’ve said it. Everyone I know who has been here has said that the food is lovely and that I was in for a treat. Bollocks! I have on more than one occasion had to fight the gag reflex so as to avoid embarrassment for both myself and my fellow students. I imagine it would be embarrassing for all concerned if I heaved a load of glass noodles and mushrooms, and fuck knows what else is in this stuff, all over the table as people are eating. There are only so many lime-soaked cucumbers a man can eat. Some of the food is okay but most of the time it is too spicy, too vegetable based and too not what I’m used to. Seriously folks there have been nights I have gone to bed with a pain in my stomach from hunger. I just can’t take to the food here.
Last night I dreamed I was walking home from a pub in Blackrock. The air was cool and I put my hands in my jacket pockets to keep them warm. I hailed a taxi which swooped down from the sky. As it pulled up beside me I realised it wasn’t a taxi but a large chip. A big fat chip from the chipper. I threw my arms around the end of the chip I perceived to be its head and hugged it. The smell of vinegar made my head swoon as I rubbed my cheek against the salty grains that covered this wonder from the heavens. Jumping on to the back of the chip I yelled, ‘Yeeehaaa’, and we took off into the sky. In my hand was a brand new crisp but empty chip bag. I saw then what I needed to do, as my chip horse and I raced through the sky I collected chips that floated all around me. I also caught two batter sausages and a batter burger. The bag started to get greasy as it filled. I was unable to catch a doner kebab as they just moved too fast. I indicated to Chipper, for that was his name, that I wanted to come back to earth. We landed softly outside my mate Steven’s house. As I dismounted I woke up. True story.
After I gorged on steak and chips, (Aaron had a salad) we went walk about. We called into Wat Phrasingh for a look. It is an amazing temple which actually holds more than one temple. I should have one or two pictures of it posted along with this blog. The guide was very helpful and very chatty with us. Wat Phra Singh means Temple of the Lion Buddha and is the most revered in Chiang Mai. The temple itself is over 600 years old. Upon asking her if westerners could join the Wat for a short period of time she gave me the name of two other Wats that take in foreigners for a few day’s meditation or instruction. We thanked her and walked around the Wat marvelling at the statues and the buildings themselves. A smaller temple at the back housed a reclining Buddha that was moved here from Sri Lanka a few hundred years ago. Also around the back can be found monks who are willing to sit with ‘farang’ and chat. You can ask them questions about life in the wat or Buddhism in general and they get to practise their English. Unfortunately they were speaking with others at the time and so I didn’t get the chance to talk with them.
With the spiritual side taken care of it was time for beer. We met up with the others and took a red van to the Riverside Restaurant which was coincidently located by the river Mae Nam Ping. I ordered noodles with minced beef. What I got was basically a Thai version of spaghetti Bolognese with a fried egg on top. I wasn’t complaining; it was quite edible. After dinner, which worked out at about four euro including beer, we walked over to the night market.
The night market is one long street with stalls placed on either side of the road. Many bargains can be had. There are lots of tee-shirts, watches, bags, pirated DVDs, woodcarvings etc. I found that after every sixth or seventh stall the pattern was repeated. I wasn’t overly impressed but then I wouldn’t be a great shopper normally. I did pick up a zippo lighter though for the princely sum of six euro.
At about 11.00pm Aaron and I decided to head back to the hostel for a quick shower and change of clothes in order to go beering. As we sat at the first bar we were met with the sight of a baby elephant being led across the road towards us. The man leading the poor beast offered to sell us something in a plastic bag. This was food to feed the elephant with. We declined his offer. I really felt bad for this poor animal that was being lead around the streets of Chiang Mai but there was nothing I could do about it.
We moved onto another bar hoping to find some sort of night club because all the bars close at 2.00am and time was running out. We chanced upon a bar that had seven barmaids and one barman. There was barely enough room behind the bar for three staff. The rest of the girls sat at the bar or played pool with the customers. We got talking to a guy from Hastings, England. I would say he was in his late twenties or early thirties. He had no problem finding his way around as he had being living in Thailand for the past year. He was fluent in Thai and could both read and write it too. He was there for the linguistics course he was doing. I asked him why he chose to learn Thai. He replied that he got tired of learning Japanese. Fair enough.
As the shutters were being pulled down over the windows he gave us the name of a bar that stayed open until eight in the morning and directions too. It was within walking distance. We set off down the road seeking this magical place of more beer. A Thai girl stopped us and invited us into the bar she was standing outside of. Once we were told that they weren’t closing we decided to avail of her kind offer. After a few beers and a game or two of pool with ‘Sue’ she told us that there was a night club at the back of the building that was open until eight in the morning. It was free to go in, so in we went. The first person we got talking to was Marina who was obviously a lady boy. He / she seemed to be the Peggy Mitchell or Bet Lynch of the bar although she didn’t serve any drinks. Her job was to mingle and make customers feel welcome. We got a few beers and stood at the bar waiting to see what would happen next.
The music was pumping and was very loud. I hate all that crap. You can’t smoke in the club so I had to go outside through the back door to light up. Outside was basically the staff room for the employees of this establishment. Girls were arriving back on motorbikes and scooters with sheepish looking guys in tow. They led them by the hand into the nightclub so that they could dance and buy the girls drinks. I got talking to Marina who told me that he/she knew he was a woman since he was five years of age. He then proceeded to lift his arms to show me the scars under his armpits from the breast implants and then pulled his top down to show me the scars on the nipples of his large boobs! Nobody batted an eyelid as this was happening. I suppose Marina shows his breasts to a lot of people. I spent most of the night sitting out back watching the comings and goings of the Thais. At one stage someone fried up some chicken in a wok and sold me some for 50 baht (10c). It was delicious. Meanwhile Aaron had been talking to this girl all night at the bar. I popped back in every now and then to use the loo or to buy another beer. I left him to it as they seemed to be getting on quite well. Back outside a gorgeous looking girl got talking to me. Her name was Nui. We joked and laughed and talked shite. I bought her a beer or two. It was almost daylight now. Nui told me that my friend was talking to a lady boy all night and wondered if he realised this. On my next trip to the loo I caught Aaron’s attention and informed him of the news.
Aaron sat outside with me and Nui then, very drunk he was periodically falling asleep and waking up in starts. One time I went to the loo and when I came back Aaron had gone. Nui informed me that he had headed home. We talked some more and then it occurred to me to ask the question you are probably all wondering. The answer was yes Nui was a lady boy too. Nui told me that I could come back to his place for 1000 baht. I wasn’t shocked at all; in fact I felt nothing either way about it. I thanked Nui and said that I had to go home now. It was a strange night; there is more in this world that can be seen in little old Ireland. It is definitely true that travel broadens the mind. I didn’t feel repulsed by Nui when I found out the truth, I didn’t feel angry towards him nor did I feel sorry for him. I just felt that there are a lot of things happening in this world and I can’t do anything about it. I felt some sort of peace with myself in accepting this fact.
It was about 6.30am now and I hailed the first tuk-tuk to come along. He had never heard of the hostel I was staying in and I had no idea where the hostel was in relation to where I was now. So together we took a chance and set off through the streets of Chiang Mai. After about twenty minutes of going around in circles I asked him to stop and got out. I paid him 60 baht (1.20 euro) and lit up a smoke while I waited for another tuk-tuk to come along. Preferably one that knew where I was staying.
Eventually I got back to the hostel. Banging on Aaron’s door I was relieved to hear him moan something at me. Good, he got back safely. I basically collapsed on to my bed and didn’t stir until about noon.
I had arranged with Neng that he pick us up around 2.00pm that Sunday afternoon. I was ready at the door. Aaron was not moving from his bed. He would make his way back to the centre later.
I have to say a few words about Neng. He is a gentle and kind man. He does all the taxi-ing for us students. I would say he is about my age or maybe in his early forties. Neng comes to English classes every night. He is down stairs in the elementary class. His English is not very good yet but he has a very real talent for communication. He is always laughing and smiling but not boisterous with it. Speaking to him I learned that he had been a monk for 7 months, a common practise among Thai men. While he was a monk, as some sort of pilgrimage, he walked to China from Thailand. I asked how far he had walked but he said he didn’t know. I feel that it was modesty that prevented him from telling me how far, but he did tell me it took him nine days. This was related to me as he drove me back to the centre. He kindly stopped off at Tesco so that I could get some supplies, chocolate, peanuts, pot noodles and the like. As I shopped he drove back to see if he could get Aaron out of bed. No joy.
I didn’t feel too good on Sunday night and I had some very weird dreams that I can’t for the life of me relate to you now. Upon waking Monday morning I felt a bit queasy and decided to skip breakfast, the only half normal meal of the day. The mosquito bites on my left ankle were itchier than normal. By lunchtime my legs felt wobbly as I walked down the stairs and my left ankle had swollen up and was a very sickly looking red. Speaking to one of my tutors it was decided that I should go to the hospital immediately.
One phone call later Neng appeared on the scene and drove me straight to the Chiang Mai Ram Hospital. On the way I made gestures to Neng to explain that I felt sick but my ankle was not sore. He seemed to understand. He then produced a small jar that contained something that looked like tiger-balm but was green in colour. He handed it to me and indicated that I should rub it on my leg. After I rubbed some on the now quite swollen ankle he had me rub some on the palm of my hand and inferred that I should inhale the fumes. This did in fact clear my head a bit and some of the sick feeling left me. Neng took the ointment back from me, opened it and while still driving proceeded to chant some prayers over it. His incantations ended with him blowing on the jar and then handing it back to me. ‘For you’, he said. I thanked him in Thai and we drove on.
At the hospital I made the international phone sign and then pointed at my invisible watch to indicate I would call him later. He insisted on staying with me and walked into the hospital with me. He waited with a newspaper as I approached the desk to explain my predicament. I have now decided that I don’t want to die as an old man in some hot and dusty olive grove in Spain or Italy as I have indicated before. I would rather die in a Thai hospital. The nurses are unbelievably and incredibly beautiful in their white uniforms. All the staff are so polite and friendly. I was asked for my passport and whether I had insurance or not. I gave them my passport and indicated that I had insurance but I didn’t have the details on me at that moment. Not a problem they said. They took my weight, (94kgs), my height (184cm) and my blood pressure which was high but not high enough to worry about. I was asked to move to another waiting room and within fifteen minutes I was seen by the doctor, yet another Thai goddess. Looking at my leg she said that I had probably been bitten by a spider or an ant and the wound had become infected. She gave me anti-biotics, cream and anti-histamines and fixed an appointment to see her again a week from now if it didn’t clear up. This whole process from walking in the door to walking back out took an hour. The total cost of admission fee, administration fee, seeing the skin specialist and payment for prescription was forty four euro. Incredible yeh? Not worth the bother of going through the insurance for. That was today and the swelling hasn’t gone down yet but the sickly feeling has gone. I have spent the last two hours writing this and I still haven’t made a start on my first assignment. I don’t care, I much prefer writing this blog to stupid assignments.
Thanks again to everyone for the support you have shown me over the past week. It is much appreciated. Today I gave my third teaching class and I am happy to report that it is getting easier.
Just a quick note to some of you. Steven, buddy, I will reply to your most welcome email as soon as I can. Likewise to you Lisa, it was good to get that particular email from you and I want to spend some time on the reply. Please keep in touch. Francis, thanks for the text message. Maw and Paw, you know I love you and don’t be worrying about Ninjas. To everyone else, friends and family, thanks for reading and keep in touch.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Having a beer
04 July 2008 2.45 am
Aaron and I sat out on the benches in the middle of the garden. It was dark now and we were supping on some ice cold Singha beers. The suds were to celebrate the fourth of July in the US and to celebrate my more successful second teaching class. Some of the other students had long ago retired to their rooms to either study quietly or hit the sack. The rest of them were in the resource room preparing their lesson plans for tomorrow’s classes. I had sat up to four o’clock the previous morning working on my lesson plan and there was no way I was doing any more tonight. I was offline by this stage. There was nothing left in me for the day.
We talked for a bit, discussing each other’s day, then sat quietly for a while listening to the frogs and cicadas form crude harmonies in the still night air. The night watchman’s radio, down by the lake, could also be heard issuing forth music that at times sounded Arabic, at other times Indian. The warm wet grass felt good between my toes. Sometimes I could feel something run across my bare feet but this did not bother me. I was relaxing and the world was a safe and warm place to be right now.
What happened next occurred within the space of a heartbeat. I turned to Aaron to say something. He was staring intently over my left shoulder into the darkness. He lunged forward from the bench he was sitting on and pushed me to one side. As I slid bodily down the bench something shot by within a centimetre of my nose. It was metal and recently rubbed with oil, I could tell from the smell; it was that close.
The many pointed metal star barely made a sound as it embedded into the soft wood of the bench. It was then I could see it for what it was. ‘Ninjas’, I exclaimed. ‘Move’, hissed Aaron. Instinctively I dropped to the ground and rolled over flat on to my stomach. I moved in a serpentine fashion towards the bamboos growing beside our, until now, peaceful haven. A foot pressed down on my head attempting to force my face into the wet grass in order to smother me. Most of these guys have very short legs. My arm was longer and my fist crashed into his groin immediately putting him out of action. I grabbed his sword and regrouped with Aaron. ‘How many’? I asked in a surprisingly calm voice. ‘Seven in total’, he said, ‘Six left, thanks to you’.
‘Why can’t the fuckers just come to class like everyone else?’ I joked. I pulled the mini Maglite torch, that my buddy Steven had given me, from the pocket of my Bermuda shorts and shone the light around a full 360 arc. Now I had my bearings. I turned the torch off and ran quietly to my left. It is my policy never to kill a ninja as it is more painful for them to be defeated in battle and have to live to tell the tale. When I got back to the bench Aaron had taken care of three of them. The other three I had despatched over the perimeter fence.
The night watchman appeared then, giving out to us in Thai. We tried to explain but the guy has almost no English. He pushed us towards the main compound. ‘You leave, you leave, make sleep, sleep’, he kept saying. ‘I want my fucking beer, man’, demanded Aaron. ‘Leave it ‘, I said, ‘it will be warm by now’.
I will have to make some sort of start on my first assignment tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Peaks and Troughs
At the time of writing despondency is my middle name. The first few days here I was on a bit of a high, everything was new and exciting. Earlier today I taught my first class......
Every evening about 30 to 40 Thai people come to the centre for free English classes. They get free lessons, we get to practice on them; it’s a good system. We twelve students are divided into two groups of six. The group of six I am in have about 15 Thai students with which to practice giving lessons. The other group of six also have the same amount of Thai students. There are two classrooms in the centre. There is one upstairs for intermediate students and one downstairs for elementary students. I am in the classroom upstairs. The way it works is as follows...
The Thais come to the centre from 6.00pm to 8.00pm for lessons every evening. Every second evening three of us training teachers have to deliver a class. As it is the first week, the two hour class is broken into three sessions of 40 minutes each. Each of the three training teachers allocated that evening gets 40 minutes each to teach.
The Thais that come for the free lessons range from about 16 years of age to 50 years of age. They are a very pleasant group, very polite but also fun-loving and they like to have a laugh while in class.
Kelly was first to teach for 40 minutes. Kelly is an American girl who has been teaching English in Korea for the past 3 years. The rest of us sat at the back of the class with our instructor who was observing Kelly as she did her teaching. Kelly was really good and had great control over the class as she went through the present simple and present continuous verb forms with them.
Next up was Michael who is South African but has been living and teaching in Taiwan for the past 7 years. Michael continued on from where Kelly left off. He was very comfortable with what he was doing and had the students up out of their seats and moving around to shake things up a bit. Michael timed his forty minutes to perfection.
Next up was Colin. Colin is from Ireland and has had no experience whatsoever of standing in front of a class of people and trying to teach them English. Colin had sweated profusely as he watched the others work their teaching magic. Standing now in front of the class in a soaking wet shirt, Colin ceased to sweat. Apparently fear makes the skin contract.
Okay, I had my lesson plan written out in front of me just like I was instructed. I had my handout exercises ready to go. I had it all timed to perfection. That is if I didn’t run out of time before I got through everything. Basically I had to talk to them about ‘How we use our spare time’. I introduced the topic and then proceeded to elicit responses from them. I asked them to call out examples, such as working, playing, swimming, going out with their friends. I introduced the word ‘socialising’ to them and also the phrase ‘hanging out with friends’. I gave my first hand out to them and asked them to read it. I asked them to think about what was on the handout and then to get into groups of two and discuss what was on the handout.
I thought I was doing quite well. At least twenty minutes must have gone by. I looked up at the clock on the wall to make sure and was horrified to see that only seven minutes had elapsed since I had started. I was half way through my lesson plan but nowhere near half way through the forty minutes I had to spend teaching them.
I started to panic. What else could I do but give them the body of text I had prepared for them to read and answer questions on. ‘Oh fucking great’, I thought, ‘I have just about run through the whole thing in less than twenty minutes’.
Thankfully they found reading the text much harder than I had anticipated and this killed a few of those eternity filled minutes for me. When they completed the task I asked one of them to read out the first answer. I then asked the rest of the class if the answer was correct. When they answered that it was correct I would ask another why they thought it was correct. For me this dragged on forever but looking at the clock I could see there was still fifteen minutes left to go.
Okay I could take no more, it’s a fair cop guv’nor, I have fucked up. I said that this was my first time ever to teach a class and I asked them if maybe I was speaking too fast for them. In unison they nodded and gave a resounding ‘Yes’. They then proceeded to laugh. I know they weren’t laughing at me but rather at the comedy of the situation. I apologised to them, slowly and smiled. Still I couldn’t think of anything else to say and broke the golden rule. I finished the class before the forty minutes was up. I thanked them and walked back to my fellow trainer teachers. The Thais stayed in their chairs. As it was not yet 8.00pm they were expecting more teaching. My tutor explained to them that the class was over for the evening and thanked them for coming. I should have done that.
Standing at the back of the class feeling despondent I was approached by one of the Thais. I think his name is Uie. He put his hand on my shoulder and with a big smile said that he would see me tomorrow. They are a truly lovely race of people.
Later that evening some of my peers were also very nice. They each chose their moments to approach me and offer words of encouragement and to tell me it wasn’t as bad as I thought. While this was very decent and thoughtful of them it didn’t really make me feel any better.
As I write this I feel very low indeed. I feel I am in over my head; that I have taken on too much. Everyone else on the course is vastly more educated than me and most of them have a lot of experience already with teaching. Most of the conversation over the daily meals is about all the different places in the world they have been to or the next teaching job they have lined up in Taiwan or China.
Those of you who know me very well will be wondering if I am going to quit now after only two days. Yes of course I have been thinking about it. It has been running through my head constantly that I have pretty much quitted everything I have tried in the past. I am just fluttering through life going nowhere really, getting nothing accomplished. Right now it feels the same, the urge to run; to give up and get out is my constant companion. To be totally honest I don’t know what to do. I owe it to myself at this stage to hang on as long as I can. I suppose I feel a little better just by simply writing this out and sharing it with my friends and family.
Fuck it, I have another lesson plan to do for Thursday’s lesson and I have to approach one of the Thai students and ask him if I can interview him for a project / report I have to produce by next week. I can’t be wasting my time here whinging to you guys.
Hopefully I will post a blog soon while on a peak.
Love you all and miss you.
Every evening about 30 to 40 Thai people come to the centre for free English classes. They get free lessons, we get to practice on them; it’s a good system. We twelve students are divided into two groups of six. The group of six I am in have about 15 Thai students with which to practice giving lessons. The other group of six also have the same amount of Thai students. There are two classrooms in the centre. There is one upstairs for intermediate students and one downstairs for elementary students. I am in the classroom upstairs. The way it works is as follows...
The Thais come to the centre from 6.00pm to 8.00pm for lessons every evening. Every second evening three of us training teachers have to deliver a class. As it is the first week, the two hour class is broken into three sessions of 40 minutes each. Each of the three training teachers allocated that evening gets 40 minutes each to teach.
The Thais that come for the free lessons range from about 16 years of age to 50 years of age. They are a very pleasant group, very polite but also fun-loving and they like to have a laugh while in class.
Kelly was first to teach for 40 minutes. Kelly is an American girl who has been teaching English in Korea for the past 3 years. The rest of us sat at the back of the class with our instructor who was observing Kelly as she did her teaching. Kelly was really good and had great control over the class as she went through the present simple and present continuous verb forms with them.
Next up was Michael who is South African but has been living and teaching in Taiwan for the past 7 years. Michael continued on from where Kelly left off. He was very comfortable with what he was doing and had the students up out of their seats and moving around to shake things up a bit. Michael timed his forty minutes to perfection.
Next up was Colin. Colin is from Ireland and has had no experience whatsoever of standing in front of a class of people and trying to teach them English. Colin had sweated profusely as he watched the others work their teaching magic. Standing now in front of the class in a soaking wet shirt, Colin ceased to sweat. Apparently fear makes the skin contract.
Okay, I had my lesson plan written out in front of me just like I was instructed. I had my handout exercises ready to go. I had it all timed to perfection. That is if I didn’t run out of time before I got through everything. Basically I had to talk to them about ‘How we use our spare time’. I introduced the topic and then proceeded to elicit responses from them. I asked them to call out examples, such as working, playing, swimming, going out with their friends. I introduced the word ‘socialising’ to them and also the phrase ‘hanging out with friends’. I gave my first hand out to them and asked them to read it. I asked them to think about what was on the handout and then to get into groups of two and discuss what was on the handout.
I thought I was doing quite well. At least twenty minutes must have gone by. I looked up at the clock on the wall to make sure and was horrified to see that only seven minutes had elapsed since I had started. I was half way through my lesson plan but nowhere near half way through the forty minutes I had to spend teaching them.
I started to panic. What else could I do but give them the body of text I had prepared for them to read and answer questions on. ‘Oh fucking great’, I thought, ‘I have just about run through the whole thing in less than twenty minutes’.
Thankfully they found reading the text much harder than I had anticipated and this killed a few of those eternity filled minutes for me. When they completed the task I asked one of them to read out the first answer. I then asked the rest of the class if the answer was correct. When they answered that it was correct I would ask another why they thought it was correct. For me this dragged on forever but looking at the clock I could see there was still fifteen minutes left to go.
Okay I could take no more, it’s a fair cop guv’nor, I have fucked up. I said that this was my first time ever to teach a class and I asked them if maybe I was speaking too fast for them. In unison they nodded and gave a resounding ‘Yes’. They then proceeded to laugh. I know they weren’t laughing at me but rather at the comedy of the situation. I apologised to them, slowly and smiled. Still I couldn’t think of anything else to say and broke the golden rule. I finished the class before the forty minutes was up. I thanked them and walked back to my fellow trainer teachers. The Thais stayed in their chairs. As it was not yet 8.00pm they were expecting more teaching. My tutor explained to them that the class was over for the evening and thanked them for coming. I should have done that.
Standing at the back of the class feeling despondent I was approached by one of the Thais. I think his name is Uie. He put his hand on my shoulder and with a big smile said that he would see me tomorrow. They are a truly lovely race of people.
Later that evening some of my peers were also very nice. They each chose their moments to approach me and offer words of encouragement and to tell me it wasn’t as bad as I thought. While this was very decent and thoughtful of them it didn’t really make me feel any better.
As I write this I feel very low indeed. I feel I am in over my head; that I have taken on too much. Everyone else on the course is vastly more educated than me and most of them have a lot of experience already with teaching. Most of the conversation over the daily meals is about all the different places in the world they have been to or the next teaching job they have lined up in Taiwan or China.
Those of you who know me very well will be wondering if I am going to quit now after only two days. Yes of course I have been thinking about it. It has been running through my head constantly that I have pretty much quitted everything I have tried in the past. I am just fluttering through life going nowhere really, getting nothing accomplished. Right now it feels the same, the urge to run; to give up and get out is my constant companion. To be totally honest I don’t know what to do. I owe it to myself at this stage to hang on as long as I can. I suppose I feel a little better just by simply writing this out and sharing it with my friends and family.
Fuck it, I have another lesson plan to do for Thursday’s lesson and I have to approach one of the Thai students and ask him if I can interview him for a project / report I have to produce by next week. I can’t be wasting my time here whinging to you guys.
Hopefully I will post a blog soon while on a peak.
Love you all and miss you.
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