08/07/2008 01:02
Okay, where do I start? I suppose I shall relate things in a chronological order. I haven’t posted for a few days because the internet here in the centre was down for a while. The connection is made via satellite and if the rains are too heavy it can affect the line.
I shall begin soon after the ninja episode. On Saturday a gang of us went back into Chiang Mai city centre on shore leave. Aaron and I checked back into the hostel we had first met in as we had no intention of going back to the centre that night; too much drinking to do. Our first mission was my idea. We called to ‘Sizzlers’ and I ordered a rib-eye steak, medium cooked with lots of chips and as much coca cola as the establishment could spare. I have been here for over a week now and I have tried and tried to like the food but it’s no use. I can’t stand the food in Thailand. There I’ve said it. Everyone I know who has been here has said that the food is lovely and that I was in for a treat. Bollocks! I have on more than one occasion had to fight the gag reflex so as to avoid embarrassment for both myself and my fellow students. I imagine it would be embarrassing for all concerned if I heaved a load of glass noodles and mushrooms, and fuck knows what else is in this stuff, all over the table as people are eating. There are only so many lime-soaked cucumbers a man can eat. Some of the food is okay but most of the time it is too spicy, too vegetable based and too not what I’m used to. Seriously folks there have been nights I have gone to bed with a pain in my stomach from hunger. I just can’t take to the food here.
Last night I dreamed I was walking home from a pub in Blackrock. The air was cool and I put my hands in my jacket pockets to keep them warm. I hailed a taxi which swooped down from the sky. As it pulled up beside me I realised it wasn’t a taxi but a large chip. A big fat chip from the chipper. I threw my arms around the end of the chip I perceived to be its head and hugged it. The smell of vinegar made my head swoon as I rubbed my cheek against the salty grains that covered this wonder from the heavens. Jumping on to the back of the chip I yelled, ‘Yeeehaaa’, and we took off into the sky. In my hand was a brand new crisp but empty chip bag. I saw then what I needed to do, as my chip horse and I raced through the sky I collected chips that floated all around me. I also caught two batter sausages and a batter burger. The bag started to get greasy as it filled. I was unable to catch a doner kebab as they just moved too fast. I indicated to Chipper, for that was his name, that I wanted to come back to earth. We landed softly outside my mate Steven’s house. As I dismounted I woke up. True story.
After I gorged on steak and chips, (Aaron had a salad) we went walk about. We called into Wat Phrasingh for a look. It is an amazing temple which actually holds more than one temple. I should have one or two pictures of it posted along with this blog. The guide was very helpful and very chatty with us. Wat Phra Singh means Temple of the Lion Buddha and is the most revered in Chiang Mai. The temple itself is over 600 years old. Upon asking her if westerners could join the Wat for a short period of time she gave me the name of two other Wats that take in foreigners for a few day’s meditation or instruction. We thanked her and walked around the Wat marvelling at the statues and the buildings themselves. A smaller temple at the back housed a reclining Buddha that was moved here from Sri Lanka a few hundred years ago. Also around the back can be found monks who are willing to sit with ‘farang’ and chat. You can ask them questions about life in the wat or Buddhism in general and they get to practise their English. Unfortunately they were speaking with others at the time and so I didn’t get the chance to talk with them.
With the spiritual side taken care of it was time for beer. We met up with the others and took a red van to the Riverside Restaurant which was coincidently located by the river Mae Nam Ping. I ordered noodles with minced beef. What I got was basically a Thai version of spaghetti Bolognese with a fried egg on top. I wasn’t complaining; it was quite edible. After dinner, which worked out at about four euro including beer, we walked over to the night market.
The night market is one long street with stalls placed on either side of the road. Many bargains can be had. There are lots of tee-shirts, watches, bags, pirated DVDs, woodcarvings etc. I found that after every sixth or seventh stall the pattern was repeated. I wasn’t overly impressed but then I wouldn’t be a great shopper normally. I did pick up a zippo lighter though for the princely sum of six euro.
At about 11.00pm Aaron and I decided to head back to the hostel for a quick shower and change of clothes in order to go beering. As we sat at the first bar we were met with the sight of a baby elephant being led across the road towards us. The man leading the poor beast offered to sell us something in a plastic bag. This was food to feed the elephant with. We declined his offer. I really felt bad for this poor animal that was being lead around the streets of Chiang Mai but there was nothing I could do about it.
We moved onto another bar hoping to find some sort of night club because all the bars close at 2.00am and time was running out. We chanced upon a bar that had seven barmaids and one barman. There was barely enough room behind the bar for three staff. The rest of the girls sat at the bar or played pool with the customers. We got talking to a guy from Hastings, England. I would say he was in his late twenties or early thirties. He had no problem finding his way around as he had being living in Thailand for the past year. He was fluent in Thai and could both read and write it too. He was there for the linguistics course he was doing. I asked him why he chose to learn Thai. He replied that he got tired of learning Japanese. Fair enough.
As the shutters were being pulled down over the windows he gave us the name of a bar that stayed open until eight in the morning and directions too. It was within walking distance. We set off down the road seeking this magical place of more beer. A Thai girl stopped us and invited us into the bar she was standing outside of. Once we were told that they weren’t closing we decided to avail of her kind offer. After a few beers and a game or two of pool with ‘Sue’ she told us that there was a night club at the back of the building that was open until eight in the morning. It was free to go in, so in we went. The first person we got talking to was Marina who was obviously a lady boy. He / she seemed to be the Peggy Mitchell or Bet Lynch of the bar although she didn’t serve any drinks. Her job was to mingle and make customers feel welcome. We got a few beers and stood at the bar waiting to see what would happen next.
The music was pumping and was very loud. I hate all that crap. You can’t smoke in the club so I had to go outside through the back door to light up. Outside was basically the staff room for the employees of this establishment. Girls were arriving back on motorbikes and scooters with sheepish looking guys in tow. They led them by the hand into the nightclub so that they could dance and buy the girls drinks. I got talking to Marina who told me that he/she knew he was a woman since he was five years of age. He then proceeded to lift his arms to show me the scars under his armpits from the breast implants and then pulled his top down to show me the scars on the nipples of his large boobs! Nobody batted an eyelid as this was happening. I suppose Marina shows his breasts to a lot of people. I spent most of the night sitting out back watching the comings and goings of the Thais. At one stage someone fried up some chicken in a wok and sold me some for 50 baht (10c). It was delicious. Meanwhile Aaron had been talking to this girl all night at the bar. I popped back in every now and then to use the loo or to buy another beer. I left him to it as they seemed to be getting on quite well. Back outside a gorgeous looking girl got talking to me. Her name was Nui. We joked and laughed and talked shite. I bought her a beer or two. It was almost daylight now. Nui told me that my friend was talking to a lady boy all night and wondered if he realised this. On my next trip to the loo I caught Aaron’s attention and informed him of the news.
Aaron sat outside with me and Nui then, very drunk he was periodically falling asleep and waking up in starts. One time I went to the loo and when I came back Aaron had gone. Nui informed me that he had headed home. We talked some more and then it occurred to me to ask the question you are probably all wondering. The answer was yes Nui was a lady boy too. Nui told me that I could come back to his place for 1000 baht. I wasn’t shocked at all; in fact I felt nothing either way about it. I thanked Nui and said that I had to go home now. It was a strange night; there is more in this world that can be seen in little old Ireland. It is definitely true that travel broadens the mind. I didn’t feel repulsed by Nui when I found out the truth, I didn’t feel angry towards him nor did I feel sorry for him. I just felt that there are a lot of things happening in this world and I can’t do anything about it. I felt some sort of peace with myself in accepting this fact.
It was about 6.30am now and I hailed the first tuk-tuk to come along. He had never heard of the hostel I was staying in and I had no idea where the hostel was in relation to where I was now. So together we took a chance and set off through the streets of Chiang Mai. After about twenty minutes of going around in circles I asked him to stop and got out. I paid him 60 baht (1.20 euro) and lit up a smoke while I waited for another tuk-tuk to come along. Preferably one that knew where I was staying.
Eventually I got back to the hostel. Banging on Aaron’s door I was relieved to hear him moan something at me. Good, he got back safely. I basically collapsed on to my bed and didn’t stir until about noon.
I had arranged with Neng that he pick us up around 2.00pm that Sunday afternoon. I was ready at the door. Aaron was not moving from his bed. He would make his way back to the centre later.
I have to say a few words about Neng. He is a gentle and kind man. He does all the taxi-ing for us students. I would say he is about my age or maybe in his early forties. Neng comes to English classes every night. He is down stairs in the elementary class. His English is not very good yet but he has a very real talent for communication. He is always laughing and smiling but not boisterous with it. Speaking to him I learned that he had been a monk for 7 months, a common practise among Thai men. While he was a monk, as some sort of pilgrimage, he walked to China from Thailand. I asked how far he had walked but he said he didn’t know. I feel that it was modesty that prevented him from telling me how far, but he did tell me it took him nine days. This was related to me as he drove me back to the centre. He kindly stopped off at Tesco so that I could get some supplies, chocolate, peanuts, pot noodles and the like. As I shopped he drove back to see if he could get Aaron out of bed. No joy.
I didn’t feel too good on Sunday night and I had some very weird dreams that I can’t for the life of me relate to you now. Upon waking Monday morning I felt a bit queasy and decided to skip breakfast, the only half normal meal of the day. The mosquito bites on my left ankle were itchier than normal. By lunchtime my legs felt wobbly as I walked down the stairs and my left ankle had swollen up and was a very sickly looking red. Speaking to one of my tutors it was decided that I should go to the hospital immediately.
One phone call later Neng appeared on the scene and drove me straight to the Chiang Mai Ram Hospital. On the way I made gestures to Neng to explain that I felt sick but my ankle was not sore. He seemed to understand. He then produced a small jar that contained something that looked like tiger-balm but was green in colour. He handed it to me and indicated that I should rub it on my leg. After I rubbed some on the now quite swollen ankle he had me rub some on the palm of my hand and inferred that I should inhale the fumes. This did in fact clear my head a bit and some of the sick feeling left me. Neng took the ointment back from me, opened it and while still driving proceeded to chant some prayers over it. His incantations ended with him blowing on the jar and then handing it back to me. ‘For you’, he said. I thanked him in Thai and we drove on.
At the hospital I made the international phone sign and then pointed at my invisible watch to indicate I would call him later. He insisted on staying with me and walked into the hospital with me. He waited with a newspaper as I approached the desk to explain my predicament. I have now decided that I don’t want to die as an old man in some hot and dusty olive grove in Spain or Italy as I have indicated before. I would rather die in a Thai hospital. The nurses are unbelievably and incredibly beautiful in their white uniforms. All the staff are so polite and friendly. I was asked for my passport and whether I had insurance or not. I gave them my passport and indicated that I had insurance but I didn’t have the details on me at that moment. Not a problem they said. They took my weight, (94kgs), my height (184cm) and my blood pressure which was high but not high enough to worry about. I was asked to move to another waiting room and within fifteen minutes I was seen by the doctor, yet another Thai goddess. Looking at my leg she said that I had probably been bitten by a spider or an ant and the wound had become infected. She gave me anti-biotics, cream and anti-histamines and fixed an appointment to see her again a week from now if it didn’t clear up. This whole process from walking in the door to walking back out took an hour. The total cost of admission fee, administration fee, seeing the skin specialist and payment for prescription was forty four euro. Incredible yeh? Not worth the bother of going through the insurance for. That was today and the swelling hasn’t gone down yet but the sickly feeling has gone. I have spent the last two hours writing this and I still haven’t made a start on my first assignment. I don’t care, I much prefer writing this blog to stupid assignments.
Thanks again to everyone for the support you have shown me over the past week. It is much appreciated. Today I gave my third teaching class and I am happy to report that it is getting easier.
Just a quick note to some of you. Steven, buddy, I will reply to your most welcome email as soon as I can. Likewise to you Lisa, it was good to get that particular email from you and I want to spend some time on the reply. Please keep in touch. Francis, thanks for the text message. Maw and Paw, you know I love you and don’t be worrying about Ninjas. To everyone else, friends and family, thanks for reading and keep in touch.
Okay, where do I start? I suppose I shall relate things in a chronological order. I haven’t posted for a few days because the internet here in the centre was down for a while. The connection is made via satellite and if the rains are too heavy it can affect the line.
I shall begin soon after the ninja episode. On Saturday a gang of us went back into Chiang Mai city centre on shore leave. Aaron and I checked back into the hostel we had first met in as we had no intention of going back to the centre that night; too much drinking to do. Our first mission was my idea. We called to ‘Sizzlers’ and I ordered a rib-eye steak, medium cooked with lots of chips and as much coca cola as the establishment could spare. I have been here for over a week now and I have tried and tried to like the food but it’s no use. I can’t stand the food in Thailand. There I’ve said it. Everyone I know who has been here has said that the food is lovely and that I was in for a treat. Bollocks! I have on more than one occasion had to fight the gag reflex so as to avoid embarrassment for both myself and my fellow students. I imagine it would be embarrassing for all concerned if I heaved a load of glass noodles and mushrooms, and fuck knows what else is in this stuff, all over the table as people are eating. There are only so many lime-soaked cucumbers a man can eat. Some of the food is okay but most of the time it is too spicy, too vegetable based and too not what I’m used to. Seriously folks there have been nights I have gone to bed with a pain in my stomach from hunger. I just can’t take to the food here.
Last night I dreamed I was walking home from a pub in Blackrock. The air was cool and I put my hands in my jacket pockets to keep them warm. I hailed a taxi which swooped down from the sky. As it pulled up beside me I realised it wasn’t a taxi but a large chip. A big fat chip from the chipper. I threw my arms around the end of the chip I perceived to be its head and hugged it. The smell of vinegar made my head swoon as I rubbed my cheek against the salty grains that covered this wonder from the heavens. Jumping on to the back of the chip I yelled, ‘Yeeehaaa’, and we took off into the sky. In my hand was a brand new crisp but empty chip bag. I saw then what I needed to do, as my chip horse and I raced through the sky I collected chips that floated all around me. I also caught two batter sausages and a batter burger. The bag started to get greasy as it filled. I was unable to catch a doner kebab as they just moved too fast. I indicated to Chipper, for that was his name, that I wanted to come back to earth. We landed softly outside my mate Steven’s house. As I dismounted I woke up. True story.
After I gorged on steak and chips, (Aaron had a salad) we went walk about. We called into Wat Phrasingh for a look. It is an amazing temple which actually holds more than one temple. I should have one or two pictures of it posted along with this blog. The guide was very helpful and very chatty with us. Wat Phra Singh means Temple of the Lion Buddha and is the most revered in Chiang Mai. The temple itself is over 600 years old. Upon asking her if westerners could join the Wat for a short period of time she gave me the name of two other Wats that take in foreigners for a few day’s meditation or instruction. We thanked her and walked around the Wat marvelling at the statues and the buildings themselves. A smaller temple at the back housed a reclining Buddha that was moved here from Sri Lanka a few hundred years ago. Also around the back can be found monks who are willing to sit with ‘farang’ and chat. You can ask them questions about life in the wat or Buddhism in general and they get to practise their English. Unfortunately they were speaking with others at the time and so I didn’t get the chance to talk with them.
With the spiritual side taken care of it was time for beer. We met up with the others and took a red van to the Riverside Restaurant which was coincidently located by the river Mae Nam Ping. I ordered noodles with minced beef. What I got was basically a Thai version of spaghetti Bolognese with a fried egg on top. I wasn’t complaining; it was quite edible. After dinner, which worked out at about four euro including beer, we walked over to the night market.
The night market is one long street with stalls placed on either side of the road. Many bargains can be had. There are lots of tee-shirts, watches, bags, pirated DVDs, woodcarvings etc. I found that after every sixth or seventh stall the pattern was repeated. I wasn’t overly impressed but then I wouldn’t be a great shopper normally. I did pick up a zippo lighter though for the princely sum of six euro.
At about 11.00pm Aaron and I decided to head back to the hostel for a quick shower and change of clothes in order to go beering. As we sat at the first bar we were met with the sight of a baby elephant being led across the road towards us. The man leading the poor beast offered to sell us something in a plastic bag. This was food to feed the elephant with. We declined his offer. I really felt bad for this poor animal that was being lead around the streets of Chiang Mai but there was nothing I could do about it.
We moved onto another bar hoping to find some sort of night club because all the bars close at 2.00am and time was running out. We chanced upon a bar that had seven barmaids and one barman. There was barely enough room behind the bar for three staff. The rest of the girls sat at the bar or played pool with the customers. We got talking to a guy from Hastings, England. I would say he was in his late twenties or early thirties. He had no problem finding his way around as he had being living in Thailand for the past year. He was fluent in Thai and could both read and write it too. He was there for the linguistics course he was doing. I asked him why he chose to learn Thai. He replied that he got tired of learning Japanese. Fair enough.
As the shutters were being pulled down over the windows he gave us the name of a bar that stayed open until eight in the morning and directions too. It was within walking distance. We set off down the road seeking this magical place of more beer. A Thai girl stopped us and invited us into the bar she was standing outside of. Once we were told that they weren’t closing we decided to avail of her kind offer. After a few beers and a game or two of pool with ‘Sue’ she told us that there was a night club at the back of the building that was open until eight in the morning. It was free to go in, so in we went. The first person we got talking to was Marina who was obviously a lady boy. He / she seemed to be the Peggy Mitchell or Bet Lynch of the bar although she didn’t serve any drinks. Her job was to mingle and make customers feel welcome. We got a few beers and stood at the bar waiting to see what would happen next.
The music was pumping and was very loud. I hate all that crap. You can’t smoke in the club so I had to go outside through the back door to light up. Outside was basically the staff room for the employees of this establishment. Girls were arriving back on motorbikes and scooters with sheepish looking guys in tow. They led them by the hand into the nightclub so that they could dance and buy the girls drinks. I got talking to Marina who told me that he/she knew he was a woman since he was five years of age. He then proceeded to lift his arms to show me the scars under his armpits from the breast implants and then pulled his top down to show me the scars on the nipples of his large boobs! Nobody batted an eyelid as this was happening. I suppose Marina shows his breasts to a lot of people. I spent most of the night sitting out back watching the comings and goings of the Thais. At one stage someone fried up some chicken in a wok and sold me some for 50 baht (10c). It was delicious. Meanwhile Aaron had been talking to this girl all night at the bar. I popped back in every now and then to use the loo or to buy another beer. I left him to it as they seemed to be getting on quite well. Back outside a gorgeous looking girl got talking to me. Her name was Nui. We joked and laughed and talked shite. I bought her a beer or two. It was almost daylight now. Nui told me that my friend was talking to a lady boy all night and wondered if he realised this. On my next trip to the loo I caught Aaron’s attention and informed him of the news.
Aaron sat outside with me and Nui then, very drunk he was periodically falling asleep and waking up in starts. One time I went to the loo and when I came back Aaron had gone. Nui informed me that he had headed home. We talked some more and then it occurred to me to ask the question you are probably all wondering. The answer was yes Nui was a lady boy too. Nui told me that I could come back to his place for 1000 baht. I wasn’t shocked at all; in fact I felt nothing either way about it. I thanked Nui and said that I had to go home now. It was a strange night; there is more in this world that can be seen in little old Ireland. It is definitely true that travel broadens the mind. I didn’t feel repulsed by Nui when I found out the truth, I didn’t feel angry towards him nor did I feel sorry for him. I just felt that there are a lot of things happening in this world and I can’t do anything about it. I felt some sort of peace with myself in accepting this fact.
It was about 6.30am now and I hailed the first tuk-tuk to come along. He had never heard of the hostel I was staying in and I had no idea where the hostel was in relation to where I was now. So together we took a chance and set off through the streets of Chiang Mai. After about twenty minutes of going around in circles I asked him to stop and got out. I paid him 60 baht (1.20 euro) and lit up a smoke while I waited for another tuk-tuk to come along. Preferably one that knew where I was staying.
Eventually I got back to the hostel. Banging on Aaron’s door I was relieved to hear him moan something at me. Good, he got back safely. I basically collapsed on to my bed and didn’t stir until about noon.
I had arranged with Neng that he pick us up around 2.00pm that Sunday afternoon. I was ready at the door. Aaron was not moving from his bed. He would make his way back to the centre later.
I have to say a few words about Neng. He is a gentle and kind man. He does all the taxi-ing for us students. I would say he is about my age or maybe in his early forties. Neng comes to English classes every night. He is down stairs in the elementary class. His English is not very good yet but he has a very real talent for communication. He is always laughing and smiling but not boisterous with it. Speaking to him I learned that he had been a monk for 7 months, a common practise among Thai men. While he was a monk, as some sort of pilgrimage, he walked to China from Thailand. I asked how far he had walked but he said he didn’t know. I feel that it was modesty that prevented him from telling me how far, but he did tell me it took him nine days. This was related to me as he drove me back to the centre. He kindly stopped off at Tesco so that I could get some supplies, chocolate, peanuts, pot noodles and the like. As I shopped he drove back to see if he could get Aaron out of bed. No joy.
I didn’t feel too good on Sunday night and I had some very weird dreams that I can’t for the life of me relate to you now. Upon waking Monday morning I felt a bit queasy and decided to skip breakfast, the only half normal meal of the day. The mosquito bites on my left ankle were itchier than normal. By lunchtime my legs felt wobbly as I walked down the stairs and my left ankle had swollen up and was a very sickly looking red. Speaking to one of my tutors it was decided that I should go to the hospital immediately.
One phone call later Neng appeared on the scene and drove me straight to the Chiang Mai Ram Hospital. On the way I made gestures to Neng to explain that I felt sick but my ankle was not sore. He seemed to understand. He then produced a small jar that contained something that looked like tiger-balm but was green in colour. He handed it to me and indicated that I should rub it on my leg. After I rubbed some on the now quite swollen ankle he had me rub some on the palm of my hand and inferred that I should inhale the fumes. This did in fact clear my head a bit and some of the sick feeling left me. Neng took the ointment back from me, opened it and while still driving proceeded to chant some prayers over it. His incantations ended with him blowing on the jar and then handing it back to me. ‘For you’, he said. I thanked him in Thai and we drove on.
At the hospital I made the international phone sign and then pointed at my invisible watch to indicate I would call him later. He insisted on staying with me and walked into the hospital with me. He waited with a newspaper as I approached the desk to explain my predicament. I have now decided that I don’t want to die as an old man in some hot and dusty olive grove in Spain or Italy as I have indicated before. I would rather die in a Thai hospital. The nurses are unbelievably and incredibly beautiful in their white uniforms. All the staff are so polite and friendly. I was asked for my passport and whether I had insurance or not. I gave them my passport and indicated that I had insurance but I didn’t have the details on me at that moment. Not a problem they said. They took my weight, (94kgs), my height (184cm) and my blood pressure which was high but not high enough to worry about. I was asked to move to another waiting room and within fifteen minutes I was seen by the doctor, yet another Thai goddess. Looking at my leg she said that I had probably been bitten by a spider or an ant and the wound had become infected. She gave me anti-biotics, cream and anti-histamines and fixed an appointment to see her again a week from now if it didn’t clear up. This whole process from walking in the door to walking back out took an hour. The total cost of admission fee, administration fee, seeing the skin specialist and payment for prescription was forty four euro. Incredible yeh? Not worth the bother of going through the insurance for. That was today and the swelling hasn’t gone down yet but the sickly feeling has gone. I have spent the last two hours writing this and I still haven’t made a start on my first assignment. I don’t care, I much prefer writing this blog to stupid assignments.
Thanks again to everyone for the support you have shown me over the past week. It is much appreciated. Today I gave my third teaching class and I am happy to report that it is getting easier.
Just a quick note to some of you. Steven, buddy, I will reply to your most welcome email as soon as I can. Likewise to you Lisa, it was good to get that particular email from you and I want to spend some time on the reply. Please keep in touch. Francis, thanks for the text message. Maw and Paw, you know I love you and don’t be worrying about Ninjas. To everyone else, friends and family, thanks for reading and keep in touch.
2 comments:
hey colin
just managed to catch up with you today. my god you are having some adventure, what with the ninjas an all! hang in there with the teaching, i know that you will be great it will just take some practice.
mind those weird insects!
paula xx
I love your hat!! It's a good idea to remain inconspicuous in a foreign land, but sticking an inflatable bananna to it......a master stroke, your almost invisible!!
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