The Barber of Bangkok

Well it's Tuesday evening and my last night in Thailand; for a while anyway. Thankfully the worst of the sunburn has now passed and I'm starting to feel human again. I did a small bit of exploring today by foot. I walked around the streets near where I have been staying and my opinion is still the same; this city is chaotic. I had to take a taxi the other day to get to the office of Etihad in order to change the date of my flight home and as a result I got a good view of the city from the relative safety of the passenger seat. I say relative safety in that all the drivers on the road are crazy (ting tong, there's a bit of Thai for you folks). I thought the traffic in Chiang Mai was bad but it is nothing compared to Bangkok. Once or twice while in the car I braced myself for collision with other cars or motorbikes. We got so close to another taxi when turning a corner that I couldn't fit my credit card between the gap if I had tried. Thankfully, walking on the footpath is slightly safer and as I said I walked for a bit today.

Apart from the filth, traffic congestion, noise and air pollution I suppose it's not too bad. Moving away from the tourist area of Kao San road you can get to see ordinary everyday Thais going about their business. I saw busloads of Thais getting from A to B, not a sign of a farang on the buses, schoolchildren walked by laughing and joking, old women stood sat outside the flats where I assume they live. One woman sat outside with an old singer sewing machine readjusting the length of a pair of jeans while three other women sat around an older woman who was telling fortunes with an ordinary pack of cards.

I stood for a while and lit up a cigarette. Nobody approached me trying to sell me something; that was a nice change. Thankfully it was overcast and the sun didn't burn me the way it had on previous days. It was still hot though and I removed my cap to wipe my brow. As I did this I noticed a barber shop across the road. A shaved head is always cooler and I immediately risked my life by hopping, skipping and jumping across the road.

When I entered the establishment I was greeted by three Thai men who were all in their sixties at least. They sat under the air conditioning watching the gymnastics on the TV; for this was the time of the Olympics in Beijing. Using my usual mime of shaving my head to indicate what I wanted, one of the gentlemen motioned towards one of the chairs in front of the mirrors. As per usual he had to wipe the sweat off my head before he could start the shearing. Looking in the mirror I could see that one of the men had fallen asleep while the other continued to watch the TV and hold a broken conversation with my barber. When the job was done the barber ran his hand around my chin and asked if I would like a shave too. Sure why not?

The chair was tilted right back and as I faced the ceiling my hands went instinctively to my crotch and the pocket containing my wallet. I did get a better view of the telly though. I admit my heart did start to beat a bit faster when I saw he had one of those cut-throat razors in his hand.

He spent a lot longer shaving me than I would actually spend myself and the result was also better than the one I would get shaving myself. He actually got a scissors and with the level and steady hand of a surgeon cut the hairs protruding from my nasal cavities. When he straightened the chair back up he washed my whole head with a damp towel and then gave me a quick neck and shoulder massage. For services rendered he charge me the princely sum of 140 Baht (2.80 euro). I remember when I lived in Cavan getting my head shaved in Kells for 9 euro! I thanked him and gave him 200 Baht.

Walking back to the hotel I felt fitter and healthier, well from the neck up in any case. It was getting dark now and that is when I feel the seedy and bad sides of Bangkok become more apparent. In Chiang Mai and Koh Samui there are stray dogs every where. Bangkok is the same but the dogs have a meaner streak. They are all filthy from living on the streets, matted fur, some with damaged eyes. One dog I saw hobbled around with a leg that had obviously been broken in the past and had received no treatment. It had set itself at a very awkward angle and the dog hobbled along looking for scraps of food.

Someone approached me and asked if I would like a woman. I shook my head, making sure not to make eye contact. I continued walking. 'You want some good pussy', he said. I continued walking. 'No sexual', he said, 'you ting tong'. (There's that word again). I just kept walking.

It has been a great two months in Thailand, it is a fascinating country. The people are very warm and friendly, especially the ones who aren't trying to rip you off. It is a country of beauty, beautiful people, beautiful mountains, temples, islands, scenery, countryside. It is a land of smiles; the Thais like a good laugh. It is a hard and poor country for many Thais to live in. From conversations I have had with locals most of them seem to work seven days a week, making very little money. Most of them have never been outside Thailand, the cost of travelling being much too prohibitive. I would definitely like to come back to Thailand again and spend more time here someday.

A new adventure begins tomorrow when I enter the Kingdom of Cambodia.